putting the dog to sleep

by eh.

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1.
primary colors 02:15
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this time it was my dog that died i lay on the floor until i felt it bite and you weren't here when i cried but i still think about you every night and i don't need things to be what they were i'd settle down with something small i'm as trapped as the primary colors doomed to never change and made of nothing at all i mostly feel like blue skies cause i mostly feel blue inside
2.
bugs 02:27
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i'm stuck in my head again i've got bugs trapped in my skin and they will always dig their way out my knees are bruised again from going after that last cigarette why, oh, why do i always fall down? i'm stuck in my head again and all these bugs are scratching my skin cause they are finally digging their way out and my fingers are cut again will you still love me regardless that i will always throw everything good out? i will always throw everything good out
3.
pink sippy cup 03:08
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it's been raining for three days straight and i don't know how i'm gonna make it out alive but i'll keep trying cause i know that my friends would want me to and there is still so much that i have left to do but here i am and there you are we are still so far apart and i don't think that we will ever be close again but that's okay cause i will never forget the way you made my heart beat out of my chest the way that you made my palms sweat the way that your hair blew in the wind and the way that you smiled at everything the sun will explode and the earth with explode and the universe will implode, oh well i'm starting to think that this was all for nothing oh well i've been riding my bike down the street a lot and i've been almost hit by cars a lot but i don't really care all that much no i don't really care all that much
4.
exit 32a 02:51
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metal on metal screaming something i can't tell what it's saying but i know i feel the same i feel fine as blood runs down my head looks a little like roses police sirens call to me at night a haunting reminder i'll never be alright i haven't slept in weeks i think what more can i take? it always comes back to this i try to feel better but end up upset i'll try to clear my head but all i can smell is the smoke on your breath the flowers will bloom again the one thing that tells me you're homeward returning and i just don't know what to do i could never keep track of you it always comes back to this i try to feel better but end up upset and i've been walking my feet are bruised and i am hurting
5.
bloodstains 03:01
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chelsea says to just stay calm on these forty minute walks back home but all i feel is falling from that tree breaking my body the cracks run deep between my lungs i feel the heat and then succumb to only ever dreaming of your touch your hands where my back hurts would you take my hand if i broke it first if the pavement knocked my teeth right out of my head would you clean the bloodstains off my shirt

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released April 28, 2018

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eh. Richmond, Virginia

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